The Mormons THE DICKIES SMUT PEDDLERS THE MORMONS PUNK ROCK VATOS DEATH PARTY September 1, 2006 @ Safari Sam's (Hollywood, CA) By Marcus Solomon "Then it was time for The Mormons. Seriously; The Mormons is a shredding, weirdo band made up of five guys dressed in white dress shirts, black ties, bicycle helmets, and backpacks, like all those 16 year-old "elders" that come to your door on Saturday morning. The big difference is that this group only wants to convert you to the religion of aggressively hard geekdom in the punk rock musical sense, while the other group of Mormons want to convince you that you can one day be God and control your own universe. That would be cool, but The Mormons band is a lot more accessible and fun. It reminds me a lot of The Aquabats in the sense of character-theme, and the seriously-silly approach to rock music. I wrote "Retard Devo on crackÉ" in my notes and somebody pointed to it and violently nodded "Yes!" over and over while the band destroyed my eardrums. The Mormons really have a knack for building a giant wall of guitar buzz while their Leonard-ish vocalist contorts, wails and spazzes out like a possessed autistic person with cerebral palsy; and that's a compliment. Damn! He broke his helmet by jumping on it with his crotch. That had to HURT." Send your tithe to: www.myspace.com/mormons. From the Shelves of Lobal Orning... CD Review: The Mormons "Statement of No Statement" By Pablo Capra In an age when independent book and music stores fall victim routinely to the major chains and online shopping, Topanga is fortunate to have its own, very independent book and music store, Lobal Orning in Pine Tree Circle. In this feature, the Messenger will call readers' attention to literary or musical gems that can be purchased right here in the Canyon, from Lobal Orning's idiosyncratic selection. -D.M. If you like real punk rock not "hardcore" posing or kiddy punk then you need to check out the Mormons' debut album "Statement of No Statement." The Mormons are a Los Angeles punk band that dresses up like Mormon missionaries (who convert by riding door to door on bicycles) when they perform. "Mormon missionaries symbolize dedication, obsession, rejection and sacrifice," the Mormons website explains, comparing this non-secular way of life to the secular experience of playing in a rock band. The Mormons band is not religious, nor do they condemn or make fun of religion. On the contrary, they impersonate Mormons to make a profound statement about what it means to be an artist. "[This is not] a cliched stab at controversy that amounts to nothing more than a gimmick directed toward a sophomoric teenage demographic unwilling or incapable of sifting through the literal to detect irony," their website continues. "We are simply fascinated by the delusions of grandeur that the religious missionaries (or any clergy for that matter), artists, and musicians suffer from." The Mormons also see a parallel between the widespread conformity in organized religions, and in contemporary music. To emphasize this, they don the bicycle helmets, white shirts, ties, and backpacks of their religious counterparts when they go on stage, spreading their "so-called message to anyone who will listen, in hopes that ultimately [the audience] will accept the message as truth. Our instruments are our bicycles and our mission is to rock out correctly." Paradoxially, their obsequious homage to conformity makes them stand out more than anything at their live shows: they are conformists who exploit their own conformity to resist conformity. And when the music starts, it is obvious that these Mormons are not followers. Influenced by Devo, the Dead Kennedys, and Joy Division, the Mormons' music is an ambiguous, and often humorous, blend between conforming and reforming, intuitive and intellectual, visionary and ordinary, chaos and order. Once Patrick Jones, the band's skinny lead singer, starts abusing his flexible body with spastic dance moves and throwing himself onto the floor, you realize that the bicycle helmets have more than a symbolic function. Jones rarely sings in front of the mike stand, preferring to carry the mike into a dark corner of the stage, wrap his legs around an amp, or crawl through the audience that he never makes eye contact with. Jones's lyrics sound like they were written by some conformist robot, but he slurs them so much that they become unintelligible, as if the robot is having a meltdown. In "Statement of No Statement at All," the title track of the Mormons album, Jones sings/slurs, "mass-produced alternative thought strains culture uniformity is what we gain button down a tie-clad muted look reflect on the false without a hook attach your polystyrene head enhancement blatant conformity, ego advancement" The Mormons are super-tight musicians, and even play each others instruments on different tracks. Their album is full songs with head-bobbing power chord riffs, like "Mega Alpha Chumps Enjoy the Grand Oblivion." But their exceptional talent is balanced by their primitive, and at times anarchic, song structure. Instead of dividing their songs into verses and choruses, their songs just have alternating choruses, and the music sometimes changes so drastically between them that it sounds like there are several different songs packed into one. Their lyrics are usually 10 lines or less, but the lines are repeated so often that the songs end up being normal length. "I exist only in repetition," Jones sings in the erotic song "Mattress Medium," which also has the fewest lyrics of any song on the album. All of the Mormons lyrics are printed on a pull-out page. Probably the most clearly sung lines on the album are "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, / don't forget to push select and start," a secret Nintendo code immediately familiar to the nostalgia of a certain generation which Jones invokes as a mantra to get out of a bad situation in "Karaoke Death Machine." By day, Jones works as a janitor for the Los Angeles Unified School District, making it even more bizarre to watch him dragging himself across the floor in a white button-up shirt, or crawling under a table in some seedy nightclub. Jones's obsessive-compulsive relationship with cleanliness and dirt finds its way into many Mormons songs, and he even sings an amusing ode to it in "Leaf Blower Armada:" "fight back the filth, it's a never-ending battle round up dust bunnies like inanimate cattle cut down the cobwebs wake the mites from their beds" The Mormons also cover a lesser-known and surprisingly dark Devo song on their album, called "The Day My Baby Gave Me a Surprise." Despite their intellectual pretensions, eccentricities, and over-the-top stage outfits, the Mormons are perhaps most endearing because of their humble attitude towards their own music. "We see and accept the absurdity that drives us to play in front of an audience and the hope that our merchandise will be bought and listened to or worn over and over again." The Mormons are also endearing for their feeling of camaraderie with anyone else who suffers the same absurdity for their beliefs, whether religious or artistic. "The journey is the same." The Mormons album "Statement of No Statement" is available for $10 at Lobal Orning, in the Pine Tree Circle. Check out www.lobalorning.com for upcoming readings and events. And don't miss a chance to see the Mormons play live! Seeing is believing. Visit their website at themormonsband.com to find out when their next show will be. "They are going to be the ones who save your soul. They are going to be the ones who save rock'n'roll. The Mormons, Statement of No Statement (Nickel and Dime) Rating: 5 (popmatters) Co-founding a boutique reissue label in 1994 called Infinite Zero, Henry Rollins and Rick Rubin set about re-releasing most of the classic Devo discography. If the very essence of every icon in that endeavor could be packaged up and put on sale at a suburban shopping center, it would offer an illustrative example of what to expect from Statement of No Statement. While they can't quite completely distance themselves from their pop punk peers, The Mormons still manage to invoke a number of reputable influences from Mothersburg to Rollins Band and even Misson of Burma. It's still not the most substantial serving of punk rock, but amidst its brethren it proves heavily fortified; essentially this is the mall-punk version of a vitamin injected candy bar. One could definitely do worse for what they are, but The Mormons should never supplant their eminently superior predecessors. - Josh Berquist The Mormon's Opposites Intact: A Prize Worth Killing CSULB DIGMAG 2004 By Paul DeCarlo Last month, both poles of the indie/punk rock genre collided and were presented to patrons of Zen Sushi. Upstairs at the trendy Silverlake venue, A Prize Worth Killing zoomed through a set of catchy, pop-induced revelry, letting all in attendance marvel at the cohesion of their head bobs and timed jumps. Downstairs, The Mormons ignited a spastic slew of powerful angst, clad in bike helmets, backpacks and spiffy clean shirts and ties. Two sides of the same coin? Hardly. The Mormons, formerly known as The Dyslexics, are a smart-ass riot who actually turn farce into full-blown madness. Frontman Patrick Jones sputters across the stage, twinging sporadically while he bellows into the microphone. One moment he's back by the drummer, crouched on all fours, the next has him swimming through the crowd on his chest, grabbing the leg of a heckler, refusing to budge. And he sings the entire time. "Patrick has always been a really spastic kind of a person when he's having a good time," says guitarist Vince O'Campo. "He likes to be surreal when he's on stage." Their amusing image has been in effect since the band formed in 1998, and as of yet, they haven't had to deal with too much grief. "The artistic metaphor is a parallel between going out there and spreading the word and getting rejected," O'Campo says. "You're doing it because you have this faith in something." Musically speaking, the Los Angeles-based band carries a gutter-punk-garage sound, with added influences ranging from Ween to Devo. The foursome has just released a 12-track album called "Statement of No Statement," but the recorded version really doesn't do the band justice. The complete experience can only be captured through witnessing a live performance. "That's what we really live for," O'Campo says. "Some people live for going to work every day and being miserable." All members of The Mormons work in menial day jobs, but they like it that way. They're not even sure they would want to be associated with radio play, given the situation with the current lack of content being aired on mainstream stations. "I'm kinda disappointed," O'Campo says, "but I guess that's just the way it is. Usually, to get to the good stuff, you really have to make an effort to get into things. If this were rock jeopardy, I wouldn't even qualify to be on the show." The Mormons' drummer, Ryan Weik, echoes this philosophy. "Most people that we know," Weik says, "[have] favorite bands you would never hear on the radio." A Prize Worth Killing, on the other hand, can't wait to get to the top of music's mass-consumption media. This collection of emo-hipster indie enthusiasts hailing from Orange County want all the glory they can sink their sparkling teeth into. For them, building a strong following is the first step toward stardom. "No matter what," says guitarist Mark Johnston, "people or no people, big show or little show, we always try to put our best foot forward." Despite being together for only a year, the band has developed an impeccable stage presence to go with perfect fitting t-shirts, jeans, hair and accessories. Johnston says that it only took APWK a couple of months to become a cohesive unit on stage. Each of the four musicians that make up the quartet played with a number of bands in the past. The lead singer has a background in hardcore, but was drawn to the pop-influenced side of indie rock because of the melodic vocal freedom that is a staple of the genre. "When you bring enough guys together that know what they're doing," frontman Michael Desmond says, "it just works. We all help when it comes to how we think things should sound." Their current five-song EP, "Piece of Me," is being shopped around to local record labels, and they landed a spot on the bill at Rebelpalooza, an April 24 show with NOFX and The Vandals in Las Vegas. APWK's sound is influenced by Coheed and Cambria as well as The Used, two bands that the group holds in very high regard. Aspects of punk and metal are definitely audible in the final product as well. "You have these cookie-cutter bands that all sound alike," Desmond says. "I'm a fan of every type of music," adds Johnston. "I really love country, just because I can appreciate the vocal quality that is brought in." In a tour through Utah last summer, Johnston says they were booked with hardcore bands strictly due to their name. The current situation has bands being billed with other bands based on convenience and diversity, not on whether they sound alike or fit together. Steadfast genre classifications are breaking down, which in turn sets the stage for wide ranging and entertaining live shows. Songs about emotions and feelings in one room, songs about alpha chumps, prophecies and karaoke death machines in another. As definitions of music genres take new shape and scope, creative forces will doubtlessly be remade and built into fresh entities. The only way to stay abreast of rock's vast soundscape is to keep one ear to the floor, and wait for the reverberations. Get out and support whatever scene beckons you, but don't overlook the independent side of things. MORMONS - Statement Of No Statement CD (Nickel And Dime) ... kannst Du moglicherweise hier kaufen! THE MORMONS scheinen durchgeknallt. Auf der Buhne tragen sie das Outfit der "Mormonen-Missionare", sprich: weise Hemden, schwarzer Schlips, Rucksack und Fahrradhelm!! Liest man die Live-Reviews so scheint da etwas ziemlich Cooles auf uns zuzukommen ("Our instruments are our bicycles and our mission is to rock out correctly"). Musikalisch bieten die MORMONS eine Mischung aus altem Punk und New Wave, mit schon schrabbeliger, aber dennoch klarer Gitarre. Ich fuhle mich zumeist an straightere DEVO oder die ADICTS (besonders gesanglich!) erinnert. Zu Anfang dachte ich sogar, dass ein bis zwei Leute von DEVO bei den MORMONS am Start waren, als ich mir die Fotos anschaute. Lag wohl daran, dass ich beim Horen der Platte oft an die Band gedacht habe ... Denn eigentlich kann ich mir ALLE Gesichter merken. Mit den Namen hapert's manchmal, auch wenn ich den Menschen definitiv kenne ("Ah, hallo, du ... schon dich zu sehen, ja klar, mach's gut, du ...") - furchtbar. Nun ja, sei's drum, ich habe mich nach naherem Studieren der Website darauf festgelegt, mich getauscht zu haben. Ist auf alle Falle gutes Zeug, was die MORMONS hier bieten, ziemlich abgehangen und souveran. (29:13) (06/10) Mormons, The: Statement of No Statement: CD I have no idea what happened to this album. If I remember correctly, it was supposed to come out on Destroy All Records. Then, when they went on indefinite hiatus, Kapow picked it up. Then, I didn't hear much until I got this and now it's on Nickel and Dime. Any way that it comes finds me happy, though. Spastic, but not sloppy, and definitely danceable. If these boys come knocking at your door, stop hiding, and welcome their gospel in. -Megan (Nickel and Dime) RazorCake #28 The Mormons "statement of no statement" (nickel and dime) Angular punk that sounds like a teenage Devo playing in their garage. Includes both a clone song and a karaoke song, so they certainly plan to take over the world.(Roctober 05) THE MORMONS "Statement Of No Statement" CD ( Nickel And Dime Records Release Date: 12. Juli 2005 ) Schraeg, schraeger am schraegsten! Eine extrem sonderbare Kreuzung, die mir da mit den Mormons aus L.A. untergekommen ist. Die Songauswahl erweist sich als verstimmter Blocker, es fehlt ein melodisches Bindeglied, nur bei Track 4 und Track 5 kann man Ansaetze von Melodien wieder erkennen, aber dann war es das auch schon. Dafuer soll ihre Buehnenshow ganz schoen was hermachen, was mir an dieser Stelle herzlich wenig nuetzt. Die musikalische Umsetzung ist sehr sparsam ausgefallen und kann mich trotz der "No Wave"-Taktik nicht wirklich ueberzeugen. Die insgesamt zwoelf Songs koennte man ganz gut mit einem verpfuschten Rohbau vergleichen, der an wenigen Stellen den baulichen Auflagen entspricht. Und da komme ich dann wieder zu Track 4 und Track 5, die diese CD in der Bewertung vor dem sicheren Abgrund bewahrt. Fans von DEVO, the BRIEFS und the HIVES sollten sich die Mormons trotzdem ruhig mal geben. Da kann man an einem guten Tag im Grunde genommen nicht wirklich verkehrt liegen. ( * * * ) THE MORMONS - "Statement of No Statement", 2005 (Nickel and Dime) I saw the ad in MRR and thought for a moment, "There can only be one MORMONS and they are from Ohio and featuring the ballcrushing yelps of Lean Steve. These are not those MORMONS." Sure enough they ain't! They aren't even THE HORNY MORMONS of ancient Lookout Records fame. I wonder how the vocalist sleeps at night knowing he sounds like Brian Connelly of THE SWEET when he sang "Ballroom Blitz" on every single song. (Ms. Two Tub agrees fellas. Sorry!) This cd isn't bad musically in a Warped-Tour-band-with-some-idea-of-old-punk kind of way, but I would save the money myself. They try to be a pop punk band ala JUGHEADS REVENGE with some of the art school leanings of a band like THE HIVES but it's just flat, especially since the guitar hits some of those annoying glam metal spots now and again. OK! NOW HERE IS WHERE I DECLARE WAR ON YOU! YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MY DEVO YOU ASSWIPES! I must've missed this before. I am pissed! VERY PISSED! YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MY DEVO! DO NOT EVER COME TO MY TOWN OR I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND PULL THE PLUG ON YOU! I will get good and drunk and come armed with a belt of Black Cat fireworks to stop you from this bullshit. You were ok with your own songs but when you touched Thee Sacred Power Of DEVO you officially done fucked up! This means war gentlemen! Are you ready to do battle? Choose your weapons! TheMormons StatementOfStatement [2005] Nickel and Dime Records Si on ne m'avait pas dit que ce groupe etait californien, je crois que j'aurais trouve tout seul. Y a-t-il un endroit au monde ou un groupe choisirait comme tenue de scene, un casque anti choc de velo, un sac a dos, une chemise et une cravate ? Tout cela nous rappelle que d'autres se coiffaient de couvercle de glacier pour mon monter sur scene. Tip tip tip, oui Julien Lepers, nous parlions de DEVO. Car outre le "deguisement", The Mormons n'en est pas si eloigne musicalement, un cote punk wave energique qui embaume les annees ou la scene punk de Los Angeles comptait en ses rangs des gens comme X ou les Bad Brains. Les Mormons serait donc un melange de l'esprit Dead kennedys, Dickies et Devo. Un truc qui change et qui envoie en tout cas. ajoute le 15.01.2006 Bob Morlock These 'Mormons' Aren't LDS By Lisa Ruefenacht - 7 Mar 2006 The Mormons: primarily known as a religious sect, highly concentrated in places like BYU, scrapbook supply stores, Chuck-A-Rama and GM Suburbans. The Mormons: a Los Angeles-based punk band, origin circa 1998, influenced by Devo, Minor Threat, Screeching Weasel, Bad Brains and The Talking Heads. They define surrealism by dressing up as Mormon missionaries for their shows. Outfits complete with bicycle helmets, backpacks, stud belts, Dickies, scatterings of facial hair and thrift store ties. They're only missing the nametags. "I thought it [the costumes] was cheesy," guitarist Vince O' Campo said. "But one day, coming home from work, I saw some Mormon missionaries riding along the side of the road. And then it hit me. How cool and surreal would it look for Mormons to be on stage at some dive bar playing rock music? Genius!" Their reasoning for dressing like the beloved Book-of-Mormon-wielding bike riders extends beyond the coolness factor, however. "We don the image of Mormon missionaries symbolizing the dedication, the sacrifice and the obsession common in most artists. The musician is as fanatical as any religious zealot bent on achieving his or her own individual purpose. ... Our generic uniforms- helmets, white shirts, ties and backpacks-act as a fashion-neutralizer and a ["screw-you"] to the fashion show that conceals the mediocrity that is most mainstream music today," the band said on their myspace. "We've noticed that what people nowadays think of as 'individuality' is really conformity in the most superficial way possible," O' Campo said. "It sickens us. If I see another Beck clone, or a guy who puts on eye shadow, eyeliner [or] mascara, I'm going to throw up." The band, which people often compare to Devo and bands like Fugazi or The Dead Kennedys, started almost 10 years ago. After circulating through various bands, O' Campo and Jones, who played in bands together during high school, decided to start their own band: The Mormons. The lineup has changed many times over the years, but the current lineup stands with O' Campo and Jones leading high school friend and bassist Jimmy Castillo, drummer Johnny (who's so new to the band they don't know his last name) and guitarist Louie Rodriguez. The Mormons have received both criticism and acclaim over the years. Aside from a few nasty e-mails from people claiming to be LDS members, O' Campo said 99 percent of Mormons he's met are so nice it's creepy. Even when the band played at Muse Music in downtown Provo last summer, except for one guy who warned the band to "watch out," people have received them with humor and acceptance. Missionaries themselves also love the band. "Once, two Mormon missionaries came to my door to 'offer me the word,'" O' Campo said. He told the missionaries he wasn't interested in organized religion but respected what they do. O' Campo soon revealed to the missionaries his band and its homage. Their faces lit up. "I asked them if they were offended, and they said no-they were flattered. One of them even felt comfortable enough with me to tell me that he secretly likes Slayer," he said. The Mormons released their first album, "Statement of No Statement," on Nickel and Dime Records last year. Their future plans include writing new music for their second album and headlining another US tour. "Not only are we out there promoting our band," Castillo said, "but Mormonism is also promoted at the same time, even though it is unintentional. We're not saying, 'Here, read the scriptures,' but when someone sees us they think of Mormons." For more information on The Mormons, visit themormonsband.com or myspace.com/mormons. BYU News Net. 2006 THE MORMONS - STATEMENT OF NO STATEMENT I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that the night that I saw this band the lead singer had eaten a whole lot of mushrooms, but the Mormons are a seriously bizarre live band. I left that night not even knowing if I liked them or not. The singer rolled around like a retarded lunatic and made everyone in the audience very uncomfortable, which I myself found amusing if nothing else. Anyway, the Mormons are one of those bands with a shtick, as they all dress in white button up shirts, bicycle helmets, and backpacks like the door to door Mormon missionaries, okay, so their website says "[this is not] a cliched stab at controversy that amounts to nothing more than a gimmick directed toward a sophomoric teenage demographic unwilling or incapable of sitting through the literal to detect irony. We are simply fascinated by the delusions of grandeur that the religious missionaries (or any clergy for that matter), artists, and musicians suffer from." Okay, whatever, it still comes across as a gimmick. But, either way, this album is better than I expected. I think this is what Devo might have sounded like if they were a punk band. (CM) Dirt Culture Mag. The Mormons - Statement of No Statement CD (Nickel And Dime Records) LOWCUT MAGAZINE You're pretty much sold out in the image department when bands start dressing up as Mormons - complete with bike helmet and back pack - for a gimmick, which is about as stupid as Running Wild (or Adam Ant, if you must) dressing up in pirate regalia. But all that becomes irrelevant once The Mormons start playing. My initial reference for them within 5 seconds was NoMeansNo, though The Mormons aren't as jazzy, and that's a big compliment coming from me. Devo are another obvious reference, but this is more straight-ahead punk rock, angular and intense, with melodies bordering on power pop, but for once I like it. A good, intelligent album, with thumbs up for titles like "Mega Alpha Chumps Enjoy the Grand Oblivion", "Karaoke Death Machine", or just "Prophecy of the Rollerboys". Great! If you dig: NoMeansNo, Devo Jon A The Mormons Statement of No Statement Nickel and Dime Records These ubergeeks wear bike helmets, backpacks, and ties onstage, but the good news is that they are quite likable and easy to appreciate. I thought the Mormons sounded more than a little bit like Devo, and sure enough, four songs in, they cover Devo's "The Day My Baby Gave Me A Surprise". They do a fine job of it, too. I dunno where these funny looking fellas are from, but those bike helmets must be a pain to wear onstage. At least they're protected against accidental falls. Never can tell when you might slip. The Nerve Magazine - Chris Walter THE MORMONS "Statement Of No Statement" CD ( Nickel And Dime Records / Dead-Beat-Records.com , Release Date: 12. Juli 2005) Schraeg, schraeger am schraegsten! Eine extrem sonderbare Kreuzung, die mir da mit den Mormons aus L.A. untergekommen ist. Die Songauswahl erweist sich als verstimmter Blocker, es fehlt ein melodisches Bindeglied, nur bei Track 4 und Track 5 kann man Ansaetze von Melodien wieder erkennen, aber dann war es das auch schon. Dafuer soll ihre Buehnenshow ganz schoen was hermachen, was mir an dieser Stelle herzlich wenig nuetzt. Die musikalische Umsetzung ist sehr sparsam ausgefallen und kann mich trotz der "No Wave"-Taktik nicht wirklich ueberzeugen. Die insgesamt zwoelf Songs koennte man ganz gut mit einem verpfuschten Rohbau vergleichen, der an wenigen Stellen den baulichen Auflagen entspricht. Und da komme ich dann wieder zu Track 4 und Track 5, die diese CD in der Bewertung vor dem sicheren Abgrund bewahrt. Fans von DEVO, the BRIEFS und the HIVES sollten sich die Mormons trotzdem ruhig mal geben. Da kann man an einem guten Tag im Grunde genommen nicht wirklich verkehrt liegen. ( * * * ) 3rd Generation Nation 2005 Side Stage - Spotlighting the best of local music: the Mormons by Ryan Kluthe Los Angeles can be a godless city. It's infested with drugs, starfuckers, and the morally corrupt commercial culture propagated by Hollywood. Zoned out fashion zombies aimlessly roam from venue to venue in search of musical meaning, but end up bobbing their head to the same rhythm of uninspired three-chord crap and rank and file lyrics whined out by some passionless kid with a salon-cut mullet. Is there no soul left in the music? If L.A. is to be saved, we will need musicians with the dedication of religious zealots. This is the musical task that the Mormons of Highland Park have embarked upon. Formed in 1998, the band made up of Vince O'Campo and Louie Rodriguez on guitar, Patrick Jones as vocalist/contortionist, Johnny Meza on drums, and bass player Jimmy Castillo has a simple mission: to excite, energize, and spark violent convulsions in the crowd. Most Mormon followers convert after witnessing a live show. Donning the authentic missionary garb, right down to the bicycle helmets and backpacks, their generic uniforms serve as an anti-fashion statement, a visual "fuck you" to the smoke and mirrors show that conceals the mediocrity of much L.A. music. Jones falls into a religious trance, vibrating, twisting, shaking, crawling, filling the room with his vibrato voice reminiscent of Mark Mothersbaugh. The rest of the band offers short sonic blasts with explosions of highly energetic, truly inspired, and surprisingly original punk and roll. It's like getting a divine backhand to the face! True to their religious doctrine, the Mormons will spread their unique rock gospel up the West Coast with a missionary trip this month. The kick-off services are April 7 at The Scene Bar in Glendale. Sunny Says: April 7th, 2006 at 6:42 pm The Mormons are an amazing band and will rock the fuck out of you! Jenn Z. Says: April 7th, 2006 at 11:47 pm The Mormons had a picnic at my house once, we made some burgers and had a good time. What a lovely set of young men and talented musicians. Sarah Says: April 8th, 2006 at 8:07 am You gotta see these guys! Jackie Says: April 10th, 2006 at 2:47 pm Once you see these guys "Rock" you'll never go back to mainstream. The make you wonder what happend to the good ol' days Ninjas, Mormons face off James Egan For the Times-Standard Eureka Times Standard Who rocks harder: fake Ninjas or fake Mormons? The age-old question will be settled Monday when bands Ninja Academy and The Mormons hit the Arcata Plaza as part of their Pacific Northwest Tour. The groups will play a free all-ages show at the Metro at 4 p.m., then travel several hundred feet northwest to play a 21-and-older show at the Alibi at 11:15 p.m. with a $4 cover charge. Instrumental bass and drum duo Ninja Academy will be opening. The members, who prefer to go by Indo Ninja and Outdo Ninja, play in full ninja gear, masks and all. "It's pretty suffocating, but it's all for the art," said drummer Outdo Ninja, who defines the band's genre as "instrumental bass and drum fury." Their music is a high-octane mix of metal and jazz that brings to mind Primus and old Nintendo games. Outdo's aggressive, super-tight style of drumming and Indo's all-over-the-neck style of playing bass make Ninja Academy sound much bigger than a duo. It often sounds like the music is coming from three, possibly four or five separate ninjas. They've played bars and clubs all around their hometown of Los Angeles, and songs from their two albums have been played on radio stations and even as background music in MTV's "Real World" and "Road Rules" series. The duo has been playing together since their high school years, when they rocked church talent shows and birthday parties in their first band, called The Initiative. Although Indo Ninja claimed he's blocked most of it out, some memories remain. "Everybody was out skateboarding and we were in the garage playing Cure covers," he said. Since then, they've played together as bra'ka dOm, a jam-based group that frequented Los Angeles open-mic nights in the late '90s. The idea for ninja costumes stemmed from a comment made at a high school reunion that Indo had disappeared like a ninja after graduation. The ninja idea turned into an inside joke, which snowballed into a band premise. The name "Ninja Academy" came from the filename for a friend's short film, which Indo was helping make. He said the name has a deeper meaning, since the band is a learning experience for both members, and they occasionally share lessons with guest musicians. "I think we just smoke too much weed," he said. When the ninjas finish their set, punk group The Mormons will take the floor. "I'll put the Mormons up against any band, any band in the world," said Mormons manager Joey Welcher. "The Mormons are in the middle of a big push. They have a lot of momentum." After eight years as a band with a rotating lineup that has encompassed at least a dozen musicians, the powerfully precise five-piece group is promoting its album "Statement of No Statement." They've played countless shows in the Los Angeles area and have toured California extensively, playing a diverse array of gigs, from Bummerfest to the Warped Tour. Their music is well-controlled chaos; it's jarring and coordinated, with a uniquely choppy pace that complements the vocals. The lead singer's urgent, somebody-knocked-the-wind-out-of-me wail is reminiscent of Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo. Well-placed breaks that don't derail the rhythm litter their songs. Decked in matching black pants, collared white shirts, black ties, backpacks and bicycle helmets, the Mormons have a stage presence as compelling as it is confounding. Although none of the members are actually Mormons, they see the job of spreading their musical message as similar to the work of the Mormons. As their website puts it: "We don the image of Mormon missionaries symbolizing the dedication, the sacrifice, and the obsession common in most artists." The Mormons have been dressing the part since they were formed, and their on-stage attire has since grown to be more than a gimmick. "The uniform became something without us even trying," said guitarist and original member Vincent O'Campo. "We started seeing parallels between what we are doing and what the Mormon missionaries are doing. Initially (the reaction is) shock, but after the first few minutes (the audience) starts to get into it." The band said the vast majority of Mormons they encounter approve of the band and take no offense. O'Campo said that the costumes also signify a refusal to conform to a growing superficiality they're noticing in other bands. "They're grown men, but they have mascara and $80 haircuts," he said. "It kind of takes away from their music. Plus," he added, "we're not that attractive from the start." Gimmick-core punk spitters the Mormons might very well have the best/dumbest joke on the scene right now. With their too-high Sears slacks, backpacks, helmets, ties and white short-sleeve shirts, this onetime Mr. T's resident band are more annoying than any missionary you've ever shooed off the doorstep - but in a good way. The five Latter Days pound out spazz-tastic punk numbers while shouter "Patrick" contorts himself, channeling the spirit of the Lunachicks' Theo. Their first EP, Deliberate Conformity, is just out and features non-denominational whammers like "Mattress Medium." -Wendy Gilmartin, LA Weekly I saw another LA band that I was impressed with on Sat Oct 9th at Mr T's Bowl called The Mormons. They are 4 guys who wear white short-sleeved button down shirts with black slacks, bicycle helmets, and backpacks. I guess that is how the door-to-door Mormon missionaries dress? I wouldn't know. The Mormons had incredible, insane energy. The singer rolled all over the floor more often than he stood upright, and the crowd was going absolutely nuts. It was the best show I have seen up close in a while. One crowd member was doing summer-salts across the floor in front of the band. They really got the crowd going, and I loved it. Their sound is punk, but I don't remember it well enough to describe it further. I plan to see them again when I have the chance and will be able to say more about them. They definitely put on a great show! -Alisha Amnesia, Cool Grrrls CD Review: The Mormons "Statement of No Statement" If you like real punk rock-not "hardcore" posing or kiddy punk-then you need to check out the Mormons' debut album "Statement of No Statement." The Mormons are a Los Angeles punk band that dresses up like Mormon missionaries (who convert by riding door to door on bicycles) when they perform. "Mormon missionaries symbolize dedication, obsession, rejection and sacrifice," the Mormons website explains, comparing this non-secular way of life to the secular experience of playing in a rock band. The Mormons band is not religious, nor do they condemn or make fun of religion. On the contrary, they impersonate Mormons to make a profound statement about what it means to be an artist. "[This is not] a cliched stab at controversy that amounts to nothing more than a gimmick directed toward a sophomoric teenage demographic unwilling or incapable of sifting through the literal to detect irony," their website continues. "We are simply fascinated by the delusions of grandeur that the religious missionaries (or any clergy for that matter), artists, and musicians suffer from." The Mormons also see a parallel between the widespread conformity in organized religions, and in contemporary music. To emphasize this, they don the bicycle helmets, white shirts, ties, and backpacks of their religious counterparts when they go on stage, spreading their "so-called message to anyone who will listen, in hopes that ultimately [the audience] will accept the message as truth. Our instruments are our bicycles and our mission is to rock out correctly." Paradoxially, their obsequious homage to conformity makes them stand out more than anything at their live shows: they are conformists who exploit their own conformity to resist conformity. And when the music starts, it is obvious that these Mormons are not followers. Influenced by Devo, the Dead Kennedys, and Joy Division, the Mormons' music is an ambiguous, and often humorous, blend between conforming and reforming, intuitive and intellectual, visionary and ordinary, chaos and order. Once Patrick Jones, the band's skinny lead singer, starts abusing his flexible body with spastic dance moves and throwing himself onto the floor, you realize that the bicycle helmets have more than a symbolic function. Jones rarely sings in front of the mike stand, preferring to carry the mike into a dark corner of the stage, wrap his legs around an amp, or crawl through the audience that he never makes eye contact with. Jones's lyrics sound like they were written by some conformist robot, but he slurs them so much that they become unintelligible, as if the robot is having a meltdown. In "Statement of No Statement at All," the title track of the Mormons album, Jones sings/slurs, "mass-produced alternative thought strains culture uniformity is what we gain button down a tie-clad muted look reflect on the false without a hook attach your polystyrene head enhancement blatant conformity, ego advancement" The Mormons are super-tight musicians, and even play each others instruments on different tracks. Their album is full songs with head-bobbing power chord riffs, like "Mega Alpha Chumps Enjoy the Grand Oblivion." But their exceptional talent is balanced by their primitive, and at times anarchic, song structure. Instead of dividing their songs into verses and choruses, their songs just have alternating choruses, and the music sometimes changes so drastically between them that it sounds like there are several different songs packed into one. Their lyrics are usually 10 lines or less, but the lines are repeated so often that the songs end up being normal length. "I exist only in repetition," Jones sings in the erotic song "Mattress Medium," which also has the fewest lyrics of any song on the album. All of the Mormons lyrics are printed on a pull-out page. Probably the most clearly sung lines on the album are "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, / don't forget to push select and start," a secret Nintendo code-immediately familiar to the nostalgia of a certain generation-which Jones invokes as a mantra to get out of a bad situation in "Karaoke Death Machine." By day, Jones works as a janitor for the Los Angeles Unified School District, making it even more bizarre to watch him dragging himself across the floor in a white button-up shirt, or crawling under a table in some seedy nightclub. Jones's obsessive-compulsive relationship with cleanliness and dirt finds its way into many Mormons songs, and he even sings an amusing ode to it in "Leaf Blower Armada:" "fight back the filth, it's a never-ending battle round up dust bunnies like inanimate cattle cut down the cobwebs wake the mites from their beds" The Mormons also cover a lesser-known and surprisingly dark Devo song on their album, called "The Day My Baby Gave Me a Surprise." Despite their intellectual pretensions, eccentricities, and over-the-top stage outfits, the Mormons are perhaps most endearing because of their humble attitude towards their own music. "We see and accept the absurdity that drives us to play in front of an audience and the hope that our merchandise will be bought and listened to or worn over and over again." The Mormons are also endearing for their feeling of camaraderie with anyone else who suffers the same absurdity for their beliefs, whether religious or artistic. "The journey is the same." The Mormons album "Statement of No Statement" is available for $10 at Lobal Orning, in the Pine Tree Circle. Check out www.lobalorning.com for upcoming readings and events. And don't miss a chance to see the Mormons play live! Seeing is believing. Visit their website at themormonsband.com to find out when their next show will be. "They are going to be the ones who save your soul. They are going to be the ones who save rock'n'roll. -Pablo Capra, Messenger Online The Mormons are: Patrick-vocals Louie-guitar Vince-guitar and drums Ryan-drums and guitar Jimmy-bass You never know what the trigger will be on that rocket ride to fame. Sometimes a producer walks into a bar, catches a buzz while listening to the bar band, and signs them to a contract. Sometimes a band gets a primo gig opening for a famous headliner and proceeds to play the show of their life. And sometimes the lead singer of a fledgling band tries to stick his finger up his ass at a stadium show. Once upon a time most of The Mormons were The Dyslexics. When the guys found that dyslexia work didn't for them, they broke up. These clean-cut young men then found their real mission: dressing in bicycle helmets, skinny ties, and backpacks. Like most sensible people, this quintet recognized the unique work of a touring musician and the unique work of a Mormon missionary as one and the same. As The Mormons, the band has played manic shows throughout Southern California, always treating the audience to an amazing and often unbelievable concert experience. We had a chance to interview them recently and ask the band about anal manipulation and bicycle helmets. SKRATCH: Your live show is pretty wild. What is the strangest thing that's ever happened to you at one of your gigs? LOUIE: A mailman threw a bottle at Patrick's head. VINCE: [Security] fucked that guy up. RYAN: Since Patrick is the singer, he gets the worst of it. LOUIE: There was the Warped Tour... RYAN: All kinds of people were calling us the next day, telling us that Kevin and Bean were talking about us. VINCE: They had us on the next day. PATRICK: I hated that. He was saying I was trying to stick my finger in my ass and that I was wearing jeans. They were brown polyester! I knew he was going to exaggerate for laughs. Stupid. SKRATCH: On your Website (www.themormonsband.com) there is a long diatribe comparing Mormon missionaries to your own missionary work with music. Did you write this in response to constant queries about your religious orientation? PATRICK: Yes. We wanted people to know we're only interested in the Mormon missionaries and how their lifestyle parallels the whole band-lifestyle thing. You know, like the sacrifice, obsession, devotion, fashion-stuff like that. That's it. We're not Mormons. We're not a joke band. The joke is the urge to play music, thinking people must hear it, so you play gigs and go on tour. The joke is the notion that if a band is good enough they will save rock 'n' roll. The joke is thinking you have the answers through what you think your so-called god says in your little book and thinking people must hear it, and [so] you hit the road on a "mission." The joke is thinking if you convert people into your religion then their souls will be saved. You know what I mean? I don't know. It makes sense to us. VINCE: Rock 'n' roll is our god, and we worship at bars and clubs. [Laughs] They're our churches. RYAN: But seriously, do you see the parallels? We realize how crazy it must seem to regular people with families and jobs that we feel the need to play the shows-just like some people may think these guys on bikes that are going around knocking on doors and bugging people are crazy. SKRATCH: I understand you were recently signed by G+G Records. How did that come about? LOUIE: Charlie Ackerman [D.A.M. publisher and publicist] said he saw us a while back because Keith Morris told him to check us out or something. JIMMY: But he showed interest in signing us when our manager sent him a link to the mp3s on our Website. He listened to the songs for an article or something. I guess he liked it. PATRICK: Plus, he got it. Not that it's difficult, but you'd be surprised. He didn't try to make us change a thing. A lot of people try to suggest things to us-as if we don't realize this is something that turns a lot of people off. You know, we really don't offend religious people; we offend the hipsters, who don't understand irony or metaphors. Charlie saw it as art, a concept, and realized this is not a wacky gimmick. SKRATCH: Recently we reviewed Wally Gagel's excellent new project, THE PRODUCTION CLUB. If it's true he is producing your new album, how'd you hook up with him? VINCE: We were playing a show at Spaceland. RYAN: Wally talked to Patrick after the set, and [Wally] gave us his card. We kept in contact with him. Then, when we signed to G %26 G Records, we knew we wanted to work with him. VINCE: I've had The Eels CD in my car, not realizing it was Wally behind the recording. I'm really excited about working with him. LOUIE: He was the one who got us this [practice studio]. PATRICK: Yeah, he asked Lou if it would be alright if we used his lock-out while he's on tour. JIMMY: He wants us to be real tight for the recording. VINCE: Yeah, he doesn't want us to embarrass him. LOUIE: We tricked him into thinking it would be a good idea to work with us. VINCE: Seriously speaking, though, Wally has been great. All of a sudden we're in Lou Barlow's rehearsal space with Wally Gagel getting songs ready to record at the Dust Brothers' studio. It's crazy! PATRICK: We're not used to people being supportive of the band-I mean, besides our immediate friends. SKRATCH: When can we look forward to the new album? Will there be any songs off your self-released disc on it? PATRICK: Well, the album we start recording in late June into July. Six of the songs are going to be on the DELIBERATE CONFORMITY EP exactly as they are on that deleted album. VINCE: They're remastering it. PATRICK: The other six will be on the album that will be out sometime in November or January. LOUIE: We're redoing them with Wally. RYAN: Yeah, we're totally excited about the album. It's going to sound great! VINCE: If we don't fuck it up. SKRATCH: Have you got any upcoming shows to promote the album? VINCE: We're playing the Bummerfest in Eureka on June 22nd, the Stork in Oakland on the 21st, and there are one or two others on that trip. Then we're in Trouble (name of club night) with the gay community at MJ's (a gay bar) June 28th and maybe July 26th. LOUIE: We think hating gays is racist. PATRICK: We're also going to be on the GET THE FUCK UP radio show in June. I think we're going to be on the 16th of June. It's a Monday from 7 to 10 p.m. They have all the information on their Website.I think it's http://www.gtfuradio.com/. SKRATCH: What's the absolute worst gig you've ever played? VINCE: For me it was when we opened up for The Circle Jerks at the Viper Room. The lady who was working the door asked me for our guest list. So I started telling her the names, and she just yelled at me, "I'm not your fucking secretary! Write it on a piece of paper and give it to me!" I asked her for a pen and paper, and she yelled, "Is this your first time playing a real club?" Somehow I found a pen, but I couldn't find a piece of paper. All I had was a bank receipt that showed I had a $0 balance, and I wrote on that and gave it to her. Then she really lost it. She pulled me into some office and started yelling all kinds of shit at me and told me we would never play there ever again. I told her,"Sorry, we barely played our first show yesterday at a backyard party [Note: this was 2001, nearly three years after the band's first show.] I didn't know a piece of paper was going to set you off." So we're banned from the Viper Room. PATRICK: We're just crazy like that. We don't play by the rules. The guys in this band will be the first ones to admit they may be crazy, but with all the business attention paid to the band in the last six months, they may be on to something. With a new record label and a top-flight producer, the band is bound to make some big noise in the West Coast music scene. They're crazy, alright-crazy like a fox. Or would that be crazy like a fox with a finger up its ass? -Interview by Dug, Skratch Magazine THE MORMONS "The Mormons" CD reviewed by Chris Beyond Having just seen The Mormons play live last night opening for The Centimeters and Deerhoof, I was excited to listen to this CD. Huzzah! The CD is just as good as their live show (which was really really good)! Starting with the strange cover art on some nice cover-paper to the songs, this is a good over-all CD. Their sound falls somewhere in between Devo and The Kinks. My only problem with this CD is that at about track 6 the songs start blending in to one another. I guess my only complaint with that is that I wish they threw in some different instruments or something every once in a while,...but still, this is a really good album. Their manager told me that they are already working on a new one and I already can't wait. (But I will because I have to.) My favorites on the CD so far are "Kareoke Death Machine", "Tom Watson", and "Johann Obvious And The Clones". Good song titles too, huh. Get this CD for thrashing around violently while listening to it on the job. -Chris Beyond, No-Fi "Music" ...the Mormons - five fringe rockers dressed as the aforementioned sore-sucking soul-savers - knock on your door like a trained monkey with epilepsy at half-past-hangover, capturing an original tendency of rock music (and, indeed, of the outsider): to annoy and unsettle. -David Cotner, LA Weekly